Why Success is Yours to Define
There’s no map for this life. No step-by-step for building a business in Bali or journaling your way through Lisbon. And yet—we compare. We scroll. We wonder if we’re behind because we don’t have the six-figure launch, the perfect “travel day” reel, the glow-up. But here’s what I’ve learned on the road: success isn’t a destination. It’s a feeling. And the most powerful thing you can do is define it for yourself.
You’re Allowed to Want Less—And Still Be Winning
Success doesn’t have to be flashy. It can look like working 4 hours a day and spending the rest barefoot at the beach. It can look like $2,000/month and full creative freedom. Choosing less can be a radical act of self-trust.
In Koh Lanta, Thailand, I met a woman who had downsized her career from high-level corporate consulting to freelance copywriting. She worked just enough hours each morning to cover her expenses, then spent afternoons swimming, reading, and cooking fresh meals with locals. On paper, she was “making less” than she had in her old life. But watching her laugh barefoot by the water, I realized she was rich in time, presence, and joy.
I carried that lesson with me. Wanting less doesn’t mean you’re settling—it means you’re defining success on your own terms. It takes courage to step away from society’s loud markers of achievement and say: this is enough, because it feels right for me.
Sometimes, the most radical choice isn’t more. It’s less. And less can be exactly what makes life feel abundant.
No One Else Gets to Define What “Making It” Means
Just because someone else is scaling a business, hosting retreats, or booking brand deals doesn’t mean you have to. Your pace. Your desires. Your version. That’s where the peace is.
I learned this lesson in Medellín, Colombia. Surrounded by other digital nomads, I noticed how often conversations turned into subtle competitions—who had the most clients, the biggest launches, the busiest schedules. For a while, I felt small, like I wasn’t “making it.” Then one night, I walked home alone, stopped at a street cart for arepas, and sat on the curb watching the city glow. In that quiet moment, I felt a deep wave of peace. I realized my version of success had nothing to do with comparison—it had everything to do with how much I enjoyed my own life.
When you let others define “making it,” you’ll always feel behind. But when you define it yourself, you step into a kind of freedom no external validation can touch.
Your success is yours. That’s where the power is.
Your Success Can Be Built Around How You Want to Feel
Just because someone else is scaling a business, hosting retreats, or booking brand deals doesn’t mean you have to. Your pace. Your desires. Your version. That’s where the peace is.
I learned this lesson in Medellín, Colombia. Surrounded by other digital nomads, I noticed how often conversations turned into subtle competitions—who had the most clients, the biggest launches, the busiest schedules. For a while, I felt small, like I wasn’t “making it.” Then one night, I walked home alone, stopped at a street cart for arepas, and sat on the curb watching the city glow. In that quiet moment, I felt a deep wave of peace. I realized my version of success had nothing to do with comparison—it had everything to do with how much I enjoyed my own life.
When you let others define “making it,” you’ll always feel behind. But when you define it yourself, you step into a kind of freedom no external validation can touch.
Your success is yours. That’s where the power is.
Success Can Be Seasonal—and That’s Beautiful
In one season, success might look like client growth. In another, it’s healing, pausing, or exploring new passions. You don’t need to define success once and live by it forever. You can let it change as you do.
During a quiet winter in Tbilisi, Georgia, I barely worked. Instead, I spent long afternoons reading, cooking, and letting myself heal from a season of burnout. At first, I felt guilty, like I was wasting time. But by spring, my energy had returned, and I began creating with fresh clarity and inspiration. That slow season hadn’t been failure—it had been fuel.
We are not meant to live by one definition forever. Seasons shift, and so do we. What once felt like ambition may later feel like rest. What once felt like exploration may later feel like rooting.
The beauty of seasonal success is that it’s fluid. It grows with you, bends with you, and honors the moment you’re in. And that flexibility is what makes it sustainable.
When You Own Your Version of Success, Everything Softens
The pressure fades. The comparison slows. The joy returns. You no longer live to prove anything—you live to experience everything. That’s the quiet confidence of a woman who’s chosen her own definition.
In Ljubljana, Slovenia, I once spent a week doing almost nothing “impressive.” I walked along the river, read novels in sunlit cafés, and took myself out for long, slow dinners. To the outside world, it may have looked uneventful. But to me, it was everything. I felt peaceful, content, and deeply myself. That was success.
Owning your definition softens the sharp edges of pressure. It reminds you that your life isn’t a stage—it’s an experience. You don’t have to keep proving, performing, or racing. You just have to keep living.
When you stop chasing someone else’s version of success, you begin to feel the fullness of your own. And that fullness is what makes life both softer and stronger.
Success Can Be Quiet—and Still Be Enough
Not every win has to be loud. Sometimes success is paying your rent on time while living in a city you love. Sometimes it’s finishing your client work by noon so you can spend the afternoon barefoot in the grass. Quiet success is still success—it just doesn’t need applause.
In Porto, I rented a tiny studio with creaky wooden floors and a view of terracotta rooftops. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was mine. Each morning, I brewed coffee, finished a few hours of writing, and then wandered the streets without rush. No one was clapping for me, no brand deals were signed, no milestones checked off. Yet in the silence of those days, I felt full. That quiet rhythm held more meaning than any external validation ever had.
The world teaches us to chase visible wins—the ones that can be posted, celebrated, measured. But quiet wins are where life actually lives. They are the gentle hum of enoughness.
When you learn to value the quiet, you stop needing your life to impress anyone. You start living for the kind of success that feels soft, true, and deeply yours.
Redefining Success Is an Ongoing Conversation
Success isn’t a single definition you carve in stone. It’s a living dialogue with yourself—one that shifts as you do. Each new season, each new place, each new layer of growth invites you to ask: what does success mean to me now?
I felt this in Bali, where I first thought success meant scaling my freelance work. I pushed hard, hit income goals, and still felt restless. One evening, journaling on a quiet balcony, I asked myself again: what do I actually want right now? The answer surprised me—more space, more time, more creative freedom. My definition shifted overnight.
Success evolves with you. In some seasons, it may look like stability. In others, exploration. In others still, rest or reinvention. None of these are failures—they’re updates. They’re signs you’re alive and listening.
The power of redefining success isn’t in getting it “right” forever—it’s in staying honest enough to keep asking. And that honesty is what keeps your life aligned with your truth.
Closing Thought
Success isn’t a standard—it’s a story. Your story. And when you write it yourself, it becomes softer, freer, and more powerful than you imagined. Define it. Redefine it. Change it again next season. That’s the real flex.
